Yesterday Was, Not Is

Often times, I find myself remembering things from my past.  I think a lot of us do… especially things we don’t want to repeat.  I have always been able to look back on my experiences and learn from them.  Part of my problem though, is I would dwell on mishaps, beat myself up internally for my mistakes, and basically just keep banging my head on a wall for not listening to my instincts.   I’m not really sure why I would do that to myself, but I suspect it has a lot to do with the fact that I always believed myself to be a superhero and not a regular girl or woman.  It wasn’t until I hit my 30s that I realized and accepted my flaws.  Coming to terms with things about myself, I was able to look back at my life through a different lens, so to speak, and process different occurrences with a more mature, loving, and forgiving attitude.

Things like past romantic relationships, family feuds growing up, being separated from my father, and many other difficult situations, ALL of which I survived, now held different meaning to me.  I always hated the saying, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”  It actually used to infuriate me.  For a long time, I had a chip on my shoulder, feeling that the world owed me something because I had an unfair life.  um, hello… newsflash… Life can be unfair for many people!!  What makes a person unique and special is how they overcome those unfair circumstances, recover from the pain, and then move forward.

I have realized that the longer I held on to some painful memories, the more likely they were to continue hurting me.  Forgiveness and letting go really made a huge difference.  It’s important to always remember your roots, where you come from, and show respect; however, it’s ok to break the cycle and improve your quality of life… all while doing it with a smile and loving heart.  So what’s my point?… Yesterday is in the past… it’s something that “ONCE WAS”… and not “IS”.  If you can remember that any time a negative memory shows up in your thoughts, you can tuck it back in that file, and move forward to the clean slate, where opportunity, chance, hope, love, and excitement dwell.  Your past is only a piece of who you are, it does not define you.

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